All my years of living up to this day, I was never a diehard fan of heels. Nor I cared much to endorse it even if I had the birthright to be the brand ambassador of heels, with my 5 feet and 1 inch height. Starting from kindergarten to graduation, I was always there in the first 10 shorties of the class. Still I preferred comfy flats to heels. Why ― because I tend to run rather than walk and those heels will get me home faster than my line bus, by taking a lift by the ambulance as I jumped, jerked and somersaulted with my fast pace. It’s true that I could come up with umpteen reasons against heels; however, I couldn’t help avoiding a second look when I saw this beauty on the side pane of the Facebook page.
I could feel the high voltage sparks in the air, as I gauged in the slender, long pencil pointed heels, as if I’m appreciating the beauty of very long thin filament wire made out of tungsten. I clicked on the miniature picture of those heels out of admiration and out came a new tab loaded with the redirected link, like a champagne bottle being popped open, bearing the words, “Five must have heels”. As my eyes took in the five amazing kinds of heels which a lady’s wardrobe must possess, I was sure of one thing ― I want those five beauties, I want those ultra stylish masterpieces at any cost. Even after being a staunch anti-heel supporter, as I examined each type, I knew for what exact reason I craved for those. I wanted each type of heels to be used in the name of five (kind of) people, who have touched my life than anything. I wanted to buy those five heels and dedicate it to five different people.
Yeah!!! One for each person. That’s so thoughtful of me, isn’t it? I know, I’m such a sweetheart, as my boyfriend used to call me. Well, err, that should be read as ex boyfriend, I don’t want to create any ambiguity for my readers. And now, allow me to introduce those five beauties. Presenting……. (Where is the drum roll?)
First one is, Stiletto Heels with the sexy and glamorous look.
Stilettos are like Satan, bullying, the fair sex to indulge into the sin of luxury and glamour. And they are worth committing the sin. So I’m dedicating this sexy purple pair of stilettos to all those beautiful people who ride line buses to commute, especially those travelling during the peak hours. During my three years of graduation and after that, post graduation, I had to depend on line buses especially private buses to commute. Private bus people are known for their special ability to ‘gulp in’ the bus with maximum passengers, which is much more than the allowable limit and then drive through the road as hell unleashed. Anyway, during this process of travelling by bus, my pedicure treated nails were always mercilessly crushed and stomped on, by the other fellow passengers, turning my feet into hay bed made for mushroom cultivation. By the time I reached my home, my feet would be swollen and bruised with my nails chipped in. So I want to wear those stilettos and step on to those rascal feet which murdered my perfect toe nails, ruining thousand bucks worth nail spa.
Second one is, Wedge Heels with hight, balance and dollops of fashion!
And now these beauties are for those useless and good for nothing Sankara college students. Sankara College, a parallel college in my hometown and my residence association ― Periyar Residency shared same bus stop. And this bus stop served to be the den for those Sankara college boys, who bunked classes in masses and served the public especially the ladies waiting for buses, by passing awful comments. Shadow police, battalion, military, everything came, but nothing could make these idiots to deter from their voluntary service. With this wonderful pair of wedge heels, I would punch them, crunching their noses causing fractures, followed by swollen and puffed up eyes, bleeding lips and reddened cheeks. A good dose of thrashing and kicking would teach these perverted minds a better lesson than the counselling and advising.
Third one is, vintage-inspired Cone Heels for a cute feminine look.
This maroon cone shoes represent the 21st century lady, empowered, enlightened and independent. It’s high time that people should approach marriage as an option rather than a must. I’m looking forward for that day, on which I could evolve as a true woman, wearing my red cone shoes with lips painted red and wearing midnight black dress and I would say aloud to the so called world― “I’m enough for myself.”
Fourth one is, Block Heels with stand tall and stay comfortable attitude.
Here’s my darling. This one is for all those who taunted me by calling ― shortie, small one, pygmy. I’m 5 feet 1 inch and I’m not dwarf, I’m tall, I’m tall enough for me. I would like to dedicate this Qutub Minar to Narayan, a prospective candidate who rejected me in the initial screening level of Mission – Groom Hunting saying that – “she is so short for me”. So I decide to acknowledge that comment with a little detective work and found out his hush – hush affairs and Playboy image in Bangalore and I made a powerpoint presentation on it for his sanskari mom and family.
And the last, but not the least, Kitten Heels, the very own classic short heels that always look classy and elegant.
Classy, chic and stylish – that’s kitten shoes. I have always believed that, not brands, labels or premium tags, it’s one’s own personality which is most important and that only matters. As my colleague, Parvathi had lectured about how brand conscious her whole clan is, I would enter the office lounge with my kitten shoes on, and every click on the vitrified tile floor will resonate the whole office, making every head turn in my direction. I will show her that personality is not created with tags and brands, it’s much more than that.
Now ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for the show-stopper!!!
This one is for my ex boyfriend, who after 3 years of courtship, dumped me for my arch rival, Megha. He did not even care to return back the Tommy Hilfiger watch I had gifted him on our third anniversary. I want to stomp on his feet with the heels on and show him how much I got hurt when he dumped me. My arch rival at college, Megha hooked him up, to make him dump me, so that she could take revenge on me for defeating her in the college parliamentary election. And one more kick towards your groin for being an uber jerk with me. Pooh bear, you very well know how much bitchy I could be when I want; still you chose to mess with me. It’s just that I neither forgive nor forget. Nothing personal sweety.